Let me just say this…I love MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). I needed MOPS desperately when my girls were little. Those bi-weekly meetings filled me up and kept me doing the mom thing until the next MOPS meeting. And now I have the privilege of speaking to many MOPS groups in my corner of the world.

MOPS chooses a theme each year to help guide the teaching, the meetings, the crafts, etc. This year’s theme is Beautiful Mess: Embrace Your Story.

 

I’m not sure there has been a theme that has resonated more with me than this one. We all have a story. But are we willing to share it. We’re all a bit messy. Are we willing to embrace it.

As I’ve given this talk to groups this fall, I hear this over and over.

Deb, I don’t have a story.
My story is boring.
My story is too hard to share.
There’s nothing about my story that could benefit anyone (this is a huge and repeated often).
I’m afraid.

I nod knowingly because I’ve said the same things about my own story. It can be a challenge to see the beautiful in the daily mess we call living.

The word embrace means to receive gladly, to accept willingly. To embrace our story requires much bravery. From the embrace we may see our story differently. Choosing a brave embrace gives us hope.

Hope knowing we’re not alone.
Hope building others up.
Hope trusting that we can walk through this.
Hope believing beautiful can come from us.

 I walked away from today’ MOPS meeting with lots of hugs, many stories, a few tears, and a boat load of hope. Thank you moms for receiving my story with such grace and entrusting me with yours. Brave and messy are a combo deal. You are some brave, brave women!

 

This is day 15 of 31 Days of Living Bravely. To check out the series, just click here.

 

I knew since I was eight years old. I knew for certain that all I ever wanted to be was a mom. Oh, I knew that I would probably go to college, get a job, and get married. But none of those things held the passion of being a mom.

It was a long wait for m y dream to come true. But God in His wisdom and His perfect timing brought two precious girls to us through the gift of adoption. And showing off His deep sense of humor, God brought them to us within six months of each other.

Going from zero to two within a short amount of time was definitely a challenge. Yes, I had waited a long time for this dream to come true. At the same time, there were days I thought I was going to lose my mind! When some dear, well-meaning  person would remind me how fleeting this season of life was, that these girls would only be little for a short time, I’d often think…yes, the years go by quickly. It’s just some days seem to take forever.

When the girls were little, I felt more physically exhausted. Now in their teens, I’m emotionally weary. Two girls entering the world of puberty plus one mama entering the world of menopause equals just one word…DRAMA! Lots and lots of drama.

I found myself really struggling in this season. I didn’t want to wish it away, but that’s what I was doing. I was also reacting instead of reaching out to them. My reacting often included harsh words with volume added in for extra measure. It was not pretty.

One morning after a not so good start to the school day, I knelt before their bedrooms and begged God to help me. I didn’t want it to be this way. I wept and prayed for a long time. In what felt like a whisper, Ephesians 4:29 graced my heart

When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you.

Stronger words. Words that encourage and build up. Words that do not tear down. Words that do good.

That verse has been foundational in my parenting. Are all my words that right kind of strong? No. But I hope my girls would say it’s getting better.

Each time we as moms choose strong words over harmful ones, it’s a brave choice…brave like a mom.

 

 

This is day 14 of 31 days of Living Bravely. The rest of the series can be found here.

 

 

It would be an honor to pray for you about the ledge you’re facing today. Please leave a comment.

This is day 12 of 31 Days to Living Bravely. If you’d like to read other posts from this series, please click here.

Twenty years ago today I woke up thinking for some people today was just an ordinary day. A day to run errands. A day to rake leaves. A day to watch kids play football. A day to stay in and watch movies. But that day for me was no ordinary day. It was my wedding day. My guy and I waited a long time for each other. Finally, today was our day.

Living bravely means loving bravely. God has given my guy and me twenty years of practice. What does that look like for us?

It looks like saying please and thank you many times throughout the day because kindness counts.

It looks like choosing to show honor and extend grace without the word deserve attached.

It looks like being his biggest cheerleader even when the way seems unclear.

It looks like never putting him down in front of others.

It looks like saying, “I’m sorry” first.

It looks like not forgetting that date nights are still important.

It looks like making time to pray together.

It looks like saying, “I love you”, every single day.

And so much more.

Looking at this list shows me it’s all about choosing. Choosing US over ME. That’s a brave way to love.

The verses we chose for our wedding have proven foundational over these twenty years.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Col 3:12-14

Loving bravely is honed over time. In walking through the hard stuff of infertility, adoption, adoption disruption, job loss, chronic illness, job changes, and moves, we’ve had many opportunities to “put on love.”

My guy is not perfect, but he is perfect for me. I’m a blessed woman to be loved so bravely.

 

This is day 9 of 31 days of Living Bravely. You can just click here to read the rest of the series.

 

 

I think for many of us, loving ourselves is a hard work. Our internal dialogue has its way with more “not enough” statements than we care to count. We lose our focus. We lose our way.

These last few days have been a struggle to bravely love me. It’s a busy ministry time right now. I’ve just finished speaking seven times in nine days. That’s a lot for me. And I’m weary. Loving brave and well can be challenging on a good day, but on a weary day it’s even harder.

So what do I do? I’ve learned to make time for quiet and rest. I know all of the excuses why that can’t work. But it can. And it does. Jesus is our perfect example.

[Jesus] withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Matthew 14:13

We need to find our own solitary place. I’m not talking hours or days. That would be lovely though… You may have to get creative to find some moments of quiet, but I promise you they can be found. If Jesus needed time away, how much more do we?

Next I open my Bible to Ephesians. Oh, how I love that book! When I need to be reminded where my identity lies, Ephesians is the place.

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:8-10

Loving ourselves brave is only possible because Jesus loves us first and most and perfectly. We are His and that’s where the love and the brave come from.

I’d love to hear about your solitary place.

This is day 7 of 31 days of Living Bravely. To see a list of all the posts, just click here.