I’m one of those first born, practical, to-do list girls. I have friends who are the big picture, visionary types. But  not me. So when Holley Gerth started writing about dreams on her blog – and not just any dreams…God-sized dreams – well, I didn’t think it applied to a first born, practical, to-do list girl like me.

But I was wrong. Way wrong. Holley says this about God-sized dreams:

God-sized dreams aren’t really about size at all–they’re about embracing and pursuing the desires God has placed within your heart that perfectly fit who you are. God-sized dreams are part of your purpose and they lead to more joy, meaning, and hope in your life.

So it’s not about big. It’s about heart. And that started the process of asking God what His dream was for me.

It took some time before I realized the dream was actually something He’s been nudging me toward for awhile. But, honestly, I’ve been running scared from it for just as long. That’s another thing about God-sized dreams – they can only happen with His help, His power, His everything.

You see, I was only looking at my dream through my own strength. Nothing like opening the front door and asking fear to come in and stay a long while. My focus was on me and all that I’m not. What a perfect storm to kill any dream.

Sure wish I could say I’m over that, but I can say my focus is  more clear. And I write those words with a most grateful heart.

My God-sized dream is to grow my speaking ministry to include a writing ministry. I love speaking words of encouragement into women’s lives. Now the challenge – the dream – is to write words of encouragement, too. I dream of getting my works in progress published. I dream of this little corner of the blog world to be a place for women to come and connect and click away more encouraged and loved than when they came. That is my God-sized dream.

Over the course of these next weeks, I’ll be sharing more of my journey with you. And if you want to read more God-sized dream stories, head over to Holley’s blog. In fact, why don’t you join us there? I/we would love to hear about your dream. Really, we would.

“God can do anything, you know- far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us…” -Ephesians 3:20-21

I’m praying for you as you dare to dream. It may seem risky and scary and overwhelming and oh, so not practical. But I’m learning that’s when the adventure begins.

 

I didn’t want to be here. Again. Four hospital stays in four years seemed a bit much. I could feel myself inching closer to that proverbial edge. I knew for my health I needed to be here, but I sure didn’t want to be.

From the Emergency Room I got a ride to the Progressive Care Unit – not sick enough to warrant an ICU stay, but not stable enough for a regular room. This was the brand new wing of the hospital. For a frequent patient like myself, it was at least interesting to be someplace else. The room was big and had that brand new smell, no roommate (that’s always a plus), and a huge TV. If I had to be stuck here over the weekend, at least watching the Vikings on that thing would make the afternoon go by faster.

The nice room aside, things were not going as planned. My body was not handling the IV treatment well. Usually a treatment takes three to four hours. At the rate I was dripping, we were on track to finish in eight. Eight hours with blood pressure checks every 15 minutes. It was going to be a long night.

The IV treatment wasn’t the only thing not going well. My attitude stunk. I was whiny. I was feeling sorry for myself. I was afraid. I was ticked at God. And I told Him so. Again. Again. Again. Yep, it was a long night.

Around 5 a.m., just after a doctor came in for yet another exam, I was starting in again with my ranting. I remember asking God to please show me He knew I was there. And to please help me see it. That’s when I felt that God nudge and heard a voice in my spirit. “Deb, turn over in the bed.”

Well, that was ridiculous. I was all wired up. Facing the door was the easiest, most helpful position for me to be in. Shifting everything to turn over would take some time, would set off all my bells and whistles and, to be honest, I wasn’t convinced it would be worth it.

But I heard it again. “Deb, turn over in the bed.” This time I did.

What I didn’t notice earlier in the evening when I arrived in the new room was the big wall to wall window. A window that overlooked the Mississippi River. The Mississippi River during fall peak. God knew I hadn’t noticed.

For the next hour He displayed the most beautiful sunrise I had ever seen in my life. It was stunning.

The every 15 minute visits ceased. It was as if God Himself put a guard at the door. For one hour it was just me and God and the gift of that sunrise.

That gift spoke to me quietly and deeply and profoundly all at the same time. I saw Genesis 28:15 in that sunrise. It was the answer to my whiny, hurting heart. He did see me. God knew exactlly where I was. I was not alone.

Before the health crash, I was writing a talk for a MOPS leadership event. (I love those women!) I was studying every verse where God said, “I will.” There are a lot of them! Each one displays His character and His promises. That early morning He said “I will” with a sunrise. I will be with you. I will be right here. I will not leave you. I grabbed on to those I wills with all my heart. They brought hope and healing during a dark time. Maybe you, too, need an I will promise to hang on to.

Over the next two weeks I’ll be sharing more about God’s I wills. There are some sweet, sweet treasures for us to discover. I do hope you’ll join me.

Click When God Says I Will to download a few pages of my favorite I Will verses. What one speaks to you today?

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness
through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
2 Peter 1:3

This verse won’t leave me alone. In a good kind of way. How often do I focus on all that I’m not when God’s truth tells me that He’s given me EVERYTHING I need (not what I want, but what I need).

The challenge for me comes in living that out moment by moment, choice by choice. And that stretches my faith.

How about you? What’s stretching your faith this week?

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13 (ESV)

This verse was one of my memory verses last year. I’m so glad it was. These powerful words have come to mind several times throughout the course of the last 24 hours. Last night’s election results didn’t go the way I thought they would. I grieve the losses. I grieve what they all could possibly mean for my state and for our country. After hours of watching way too much tv, scanning websites, crunching numbers, one could lose hope. I was losing hope.

But Romans 15:13 reminds me my hope doesn’t come from election night or websites or numbers or majorities, but from God. He is the God of hope. And the best part is knowing that by the power of the Holy Spirit I can not just hope, but abound in hope.

When I looked up the word abound, here’s what I found…

“Abounding” is used of a flower going from a bud to full bloom.

I love that visual. Not just a bit of hope from a bud wound tight, but hope in full bloom. Radiant. Free. Complete. I want to abound in hope like that.

That kind of hope requires something of me. A choice. Choosing to let the God of hope fill me with joy and peace and belief.

So today – moment by moment – when waves of doubt and hopelessness rush in, I’m going to stop and choose. And pray…

Father God, my God of hope, fill me with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of your Holy Spirit may I abound in hope. Amen and Amen.

 

On a side note: I am so, so, so proud of my guy. He ran an upright, focused campaign. He will continue to serve the people in his senate district with integrity, morality, wisdom and discernment. It was worth staying up until 3:30 a.m. to see that check beside his name. I am a proud wife!

 

“If you want to do something NEW, you can’t keep doing the same old thing.”
Mark Batterson

Looking at my list of new, I need to start getting rid of some old. Old sure can be comfortable. That’s where my faith challenge is today.

I would love to hear yours…