October is a sweet month for me. I love fall. Love, love, love it. My wedding anniversary is this month (I wrote about that gift right here). And October is the month I celebrate living because five years ago I was fighting for life and God saved me.
It was 16 years ago that I was diagnosed with a chronic illness. Up until five years ago I called it my pain the backside disease. Most couldn’t tell anything was wrong. The dailyness of the disease was fought in the privacy of my own heart and home. (My friend, Melissa Smallwood, has a great 31 days series on living with chronic illness. It’s definitely worth your time.)
It’s amazing how a simple cold could put me in ICU fighting for my life, but it did. The five day IV protocol wasn’t working. You would think at $10,000 a bag, something would be happening. But it wasn’t. I remember the neurologist telling me I wasn’t responding to treatment. I remember him explaining the intubation process. I remember him telling me now was the time to say goodbye to my husband. I remember my guy kissing my cheek and holding my hand.
And then a few days later, I remember a nurse telling me to cough. I didn’t know it was a few days later. My only thought was this cannot be heaven! (big smile) The ICU doc came him, sat down, and told me they did not save me. Oh, they tried everything, but everything didn’t work. He said, “Deb, God and God alone saved you.”
I’m still battling this illness. I still have an occasional hospital stay – but not as scary as five years ago. I’m still learning how to honor God and live with this disease well. God saved me. He saved me for something. I want to do that something well.
I’m more grateful for the daily things of life. Yes, even the laundry. My list of “have to’s” now fall into the category of “am able to’s.” And that switch makes all the difference in the world.
Living life after you’ve been told to say good bye to it is a sweet, sweet gift. I’m so grateful.
What are you grateful for today? Let’s celebrate it!
It’s day 17 of 31 days of Living Bravely, but posted on day 18 because I’m behind! To read the series, please click here.
